How can I find love......?

I am a pretty kind woman in my late 20s. I get 2nd looks and smiles from man from time to time. I have an above average IQ, great sense of humor and philosophical attitude toward life/existence/ everything. I also have an incredibly low self confidence, (rough childhood, crappy marriage.) I get shy when I'm around men, and it comes off as arrogant. I also have high standards, I want someone who is very kind, very funny, and quite attractive, and most importantly intelligent. The men that I come across usually lack a few of those qualities, should I just lower my standards? I don't like to "date around", that's too promiscuous for me (I'm not religious at all, just don't see myself going from hands to hands). How do women in my position find love? I also have 2 boys who are quite young, should I just wait until they're older?